


Bigger Than That

by Commander



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-02
Updated: 2005-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-11 11:53:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Commander/pseuds/Commander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love. It can happen to anyone. But Sandy always assumed she was bigger than that... but she isn't anymore. And there's nothing she can do about it. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bigger Than That

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in 2005, so currently this story is nearly five years old.
> 
> And it's still my favorite thing I've ever written. :)
> 
> I don't like romance in the show _SpongeBob SquarePants_ (with a few minor exceptions). I like it silly and nonsensical. And I can't see the character of SpongeBob ever being in a romantic relationship with anyone. He's a loving character, to be sure, but there's nothing romantic about the love he feels for Patrick, Sandy, or anyone else.
> 
> So I don't know why I got possessed to write this, but write it I did... and I still love it. I don't support SpongeBob/Sandy, but if I did, this is the way I would. (IE, not a very happy way.)
> 
> Hope you enjoy! :)

I can't believe it's come to this.

I didn't come down here to lose myself like this. Oh, no! In fact, if I had known how I would be feeling for you before hand, I probably wouldn't have come in the first place. That wasn't what I was looking for! I didn't need the extra hassle of falling in love. I was bigger than that; love was something that happened to the other girl, not me.

All I wanted was a new challenge. Life in Texas was beginning to bore me—and don't get me wrong, I still love Texas. Well, I guess you have first hand knowledge of that, don't you? I swear, if I ever hear you making them offensive remarks about Texas again I'll thrash you within an inch of your life…

Oh, shoot. No, I wouldn't. I could never hurt you. Besides during our karate matches, of course. You know what I mean, don't you? I would never honestly, truly hurt you. I _couldn't._ I know you understand, and yet you don't, not really. You could never understand how I truly feel for you. Shoot, I hardly understand it myself!

Anyway… when I said I wanted a new challenge, I meant _physical! _I didn't mean this! I didn't mean to fall in love, and I can't believe I did! All I wanted was to go where no squirrel has gone before. Heck, not just go, but stay. Live. And I guess I knew I'd be meeting all sorts of new critters… but even on land I've never fallen in love before. I was just too busy to; I had better things to do. The thought that I'd actually fall for someone outside of my own _species _would have made me spit out my pecan pie in a fit of laughter.

But I can't say I'm laughing about it now.

I look back to the day when I first met you, and I wish more than anything that I still felt the way I felt for you then rather than how I feel now. That is, I wish I thought of you as a cute, sweet little sponge with whom I had the potential of becoming fast friends with. Nothing more.

I remember that adorable ferocity you had when you tried—very unsuccessfully, I might add—to rescue me from that giant clam. You didn't even know me, and yet you went out of your way to help me. That's one of the things I love about you—that and your happiness, your silliness, and how unpredictable you are…

I'll admit, I didn't fall for you right away, not like them stupid sappy love stories you can pull out of the 4.99 DVD bin. I've always thought of you as a friend. Still do, in fact. If I didn't, I don't know what I'd do, because I know I can't ever have you the way I truly, deeply want to.

I'm not asking for your love, because I know I have that. Yes, I know you love me! I can tell by the way your eyes light up when you see me, the way your entire body flops when you think you've let me down. Golly, if your absolute _begging _me to not go after that Alaskan Bull Worm didn't persuade me, I don't know what would have.

But you don't love me the way I love you.

Nuts… I can't tell you how long I tried to convince myself otherwise. That all I had to do was give you time, and finally, one of these days, you'd come to the tree dome, fall on your knees when you saw me, and confess your love for me, and, if I was lucky, pull out an engagement ring! But no, SpongeBob. I know you better than that. That's not the way you love. It could never be the way you love.

I'm not saying that you don't love—on the contrary, you're one of the most loving people I know! It's just that you love everyone with the same, innocent, childlike love—a love that is purely that, love. No romantic undertones, no lustful desires, nothing. You simply love, and that's that.

Like I said, I know you love me that way. You love me in that pure but simple love of a child, just the way you love Patrick, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, even Plankton! Heck, you love just about _everyone _like that.

I'm just one of many friends in your eyes, ain't I?

I don't want to be. I know how selfish of me it to think so, but if I can't have you loving me the same way that I love you, I'd at least want to be a step above everyone else in your mind. And I guess, in a way, I am—Patrick and I are your best friends, aren't we? Oh yes… you come to us when you have troubles, we know more about you than most other people…

…but admit it, you view everyone as equals, don't you? You've got that wonderful, beautiful caring nature in you that just couldn't think of anyone as being much better than anyone else, could you? In fact, I should be grateful. The fact that you consider Patrick and me as your _best _friends definitely sets us apart from everyone else—not much, but it's as much as you'll let us.

To try and force you to feel romantically about me would be to change everything about you that is… _you. _You'd cease to be that happy, playful, friendly little SpongeBob that I fell in love with in the _first _place. What would be the point? I can't have that. I can never have that. I can never have _you._

But I can have you as a friend. What's more, I can have you as a _best _friend. And I'm going to milk that for all it's worth.

You know how I mentioned the Alaskan Bull Worm incident? Well, that day, by golly, I was getting my tail back! I wasn't about to let some other critter take my stuff—especially my body parts—and just sit back like it was no big deal!

You tried to stop me. Okay, big understatement. You tried every stupid plot you could think of to make me turn back, and I saw right through them. I wasn't going to let anyone stop me—not even you.

And then, when you were at the end of your rope, you flung yourself onto my helmet and started _bawling. _You were _terrified _for me! You didn't want to lose me! Looking back, I can certainly see why. I've _never _seen a worm that size.

But I have to admit… I was touched by how much you cared about me, more than I could ever let you know. It was almost like a drug to me—knowing that you love me was enough to get me through the day, and your fear for my safety filled me with a glow. It's terrible of me to think that way, I know. I get so much joy out of your terror—and don't take that the wrong way! It's just the fact that you're feeling that for _me, _for ME! It's truly like a drug. It lifts me up, and I can't get enough of it.

Now, you know that I've always lived on the wild side. It's not like that's anything new. But lately… you know how I've been pulling even _more _outrageous stunts? Stuff that, up until a few months ago, even _I _wouldn't have dreamed of doing?

Well, I'm doing them for you. I'm doing them so you can beg me not to, and I can see, again, just how much you really do love me.

And yet… I think I've worked you into a state of complacency. You've gotten used to the crazy feats that I've been living for… and you've almost ceased to care.

I even took off my helmet—underwater! You knew that I couldn't breathe, but you hardly batted an eye. In fact, you made fun of me. You kept trying to get me to breathe, and when, finally, my lungs couldn't take it anymore, I tried to—but all I took in was water!

I could have died, SpongeBob. Do you even realize that? If that air-tight jar of pickles hadn't have been nearby, in fact, I would have. I couldn't have made it to the surface—or even my tree dome—in time. Did you realize that, or was your competitive nature in the way? Or, if you did realize… did you just not care?

I refuse to believe the last one. I know you _do _care… and all I want is to see it. That's why I've been more reckless than usual.

And probably, ones of these days, one of my exploits won't just come _close _to killing me. It _will _kill me. I've been lucky before, but someday, it's gonna run out. I know it is. And yet, I just can't stop putting my life at risk, more and more, just to have you try and stop me. Just so I can have more proof of your love for me… a love that I already know is there.

One of these days, I'm going to die for you.


End file.
